A brain exercise, or rather something that at times I can’t help thinking about, is how amazing I am alive at this moment. I know that this is a wrong way of thinking things, especially in a Christian context, but I do like to imagine what-ifs scenarios in my mind if such a practice is possible in some alternate universe. Looking back in my life, there are many times I remember where I “could” have died, or did something that would have shifted my lifestyle to be something drastically different than who I am now. What if I never jumped off that bike? What if I chose to go to UCLA instead of Berkeley? What if this shady guy that walked right past me decided to kill me instead of having nothing to do with me? I know these are some far-fetched thoughts, but it does get myself to really appreciate the Sovereignty of our Lord and Savior.

But if we were to ascribe some validity to the Many-Worlds Theory of universes, in some alternate universe, I would be filthy rich, or even perhaps I was born a girl, and my sisters as boys. Some deeper things I think about at times, not trying to be morbid, is how life would have been different if my dad didn’t pass away at the time he did. But in any case, it then also makes me think of a philosophy that is proposed by Voltaire in Candide by a character named Pangloss, though in a ironic pretense – that this is the “best of all possible worlds”. Is that really true? Are all then the negative trials and failures and pain that I have gone through really add up to the best possible world that God can prescribe? Or is it that I just end up in a world that believes that it is the best, solely it cannot detect any other possibilities of state of the world that it makes the presumptuous claim of being the best there is?

It is in our human nature to doubt and question God about all things, especially when it comes to his Sovereignty. Why does it feel like at times God’s response to our prayers and circumstances seem so off? I do not mean for this to be arguing against God’s wisdom, because I am completely aware of the fact that I am at no position to question God. And not even to say that I am against God at all, but there are times when the first impressions are sour to the events happen in life, and when that happens, we have to refocus our attention back to God’s plan, and not ours. I know that at the end God loves me, and that while I may feel like there is a need to desire or wish for a better world, I do see that this world isn’t the best it can be, but what God has done for us by sending Jesus Christ, was indeed THE best thing that has and will ever happen in the universe. And on that note, I don’t really worry much about these things as much anymore, but it is interesting to note the effect: what can WE do to shape our lives and choices so as to choose the best future route? The past is one, but the future is many – be sure to choose the one that leads you closer to God.